The Good Fight

This weekend, it was windy here in the West.  It was so windy that the "For Sale" sign attached to the balcony of the place down the way was flapping against the balcony, echoing across the pavement, and generally making a ton of noise.  It was incredibly annoying and we couldn't get any peace and quiet.  Since it was a fourth floor condo, there was no way I could go over and secure it myself.

So what is a man to do?  Listen to the metal sign spank against the metal balcony all night?  No way, not happening.  Especially not when realtors are involved (see My Top Ten Pet Peeves).  I took matters into my own hands and called the number on the realty sign.  I got a perky, peppy young realtor on the phone who sounded super-excited at the prospect of getting a call on the property over the weekend.  The conversation went something like this:

• Realtor: "Good morning!  (Name) Realty, how may I assist you?"
• Me: "Hi, I'm calling in regards to the condo for sale at (address)."
• Realtor: "Oh, yes, thank you so much for your interest in this property!  It comes with many wonderful options and I am sure that you will love this cute unit.  May I ask, did you hear about us?"
• Me: "I got the number off of the sign, and that's the reason I'm calling.  Whoever put that sign out on the balcony only attached the top and it's flapping and slapping in the wind, banging against the porch rail.  It's really annoying and we couldn't sleep last night.  I have a two-year-old who needs to take a nap pretty soon here, so the sooner you could get that fixed, the better."
• Realtor: (I could hear her facial expression through the phone as her world came crashing down) "So, are you interested in the unit?"
• Me: "Not in the least."
• Realtor: "Would you like to schedule a showing?"
• Me: (drawling) "No thanks.  My only interest in this condo is in having someone fix that sign.  It's bothering me something awful."
• Realtor: "Ok, sorry about that.  We'll have somebody come over and take care of that shortly."

Truly, I didn't expect anything to happen, but the issue was addressed withing a couple of hours.  The sign was relocated to one fo the windows and my daughter had a peaceful afternoon nap.  I took more than a little satisfaction in keeping this annoying realtor in check.